Oct. 6th, 2019

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resiliencewithin:

holographography:

idk who needs to hear this but “depressing quotes” blogs and stuff like this may express how you’re feeling but seeing a constant stream of negativity and romanticised sadness is only going to make you feel worse. Even if you only unfollow one blog and follow a puppy blog instead, you’ll feel a little better

There is a fine line between acknowledging and accepting your feelings, and dwelling and living in them.
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please don’t revive this debate, i already spent a frankly inordinate amount of time discussing it that one time…
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jewishdragon:

janothar:

theforestsoulbird:

optometrictzedek:

fromchaostocosmos:

jessicamiriamdrew:

jessicamiriamdrew:

Friendly October reminder not to put Spock or other Jewish characters in costumes with horns

to clarify: it is an antisemitic idea that Jews have horns (dating to a mistranslation of karan (shone) v keren (horns) ) which was perpetuated in art by the likes of Michelangelo. this is not a thing of the past–some gentiles still believe that jewish people have horns, and putting jewish characters in costumes/aus with horns is insensitive at best and also really fuckin gross

also do not depict Jewish characters as demons there is a very long history of Jews being seen as demons and that being used to kill us 

please do not dress Jewish characters in costumes that are priest outfit or nun outfit or with crosses 

Just to give y'all an idea of how modern the horn issue is: My dad, when he went to college in the early 1980’s, was asked by someone who had never met a Jew before where his horns were. In the 1980’s. My dad was asked where his horns were. This was only 30 years ago. I have been lucky not to deal with that particular stereotype in my lifetime, but that was less than a decade before I was born. And I know other Jews in areas where Jews are scarce have dealt with this much more recently than the 80’s.

Yup. When my mom went to college, her freshman year roommate woke up the first Sunday and started getting dressed for church. My mom was still in bed, so the roommate came over and woke her up.

Roommate: Did you want to come to church with me, or do you have your own church you’re going to?

Mom: Well, I don’t really go to religious services, but if I did I would go to a synagogue, not a church, because I’m Jewish.

(Long silence. My mom opens one eye to see her roommate staring in shock.)

Roommate: You … you don’t look Jewish.

Mom: (Who looks VERY Jewish) What do you mean?

Roommate: Well, my pastor always told me that Jews have horns and a tail.

Long story short: they didn’t end up getting along very well.

[profile] optometrictzedek and [profile] theforestsoulbird, it’s more recent than that.

I’ve been asked about my horns as recently as 1997.  In a public school in New Jersey.

It would b cool of my non-Jewish followers to reblog this!!! Spread this bc it’s scary and real and you should know!
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cheeso:

just a reminder to my new followers that if were ever able to cross the explanatory gap and share our color perception qualia with each other, proving finally that we all do see colors differently, my red is real as shit and youve been seeing crap fake red. so come to terms with your shit fake red while it lasts
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19silvermirrors:

some Armitage sketching 🌚🖤
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nynaeve-almeara:

sweetpeawriter:

not-freyja:

Know your history:

Gay:

Used to mean carefree

Then sexually deviant

Then prostitute

Then slut

Then sodomite

And THEN as we know it today but only as a slur

Reclaimed in the seventies

LGBT:

Invented in the nineties

Has faced constant backlash (from both straight, queer, and LGBT folks from being not inclusive enough or too inclusive)

Every year there are pushes to change to acronym

LGBTQ

LGBTQ+

LGBTQ*

LGBTQIA

Mogai

Alphabet soup

Queer:

Used to mean “other”

Became a slang term for “not straight” in the 1400s

Became a slur in the early 1900s

Reclaimed in the 80s.

Sudden push back from within the queer community to have it seen only as a slur in the 2010s, a push that can be traced back to terf ideology.

Is the only term that includes all non cishet people

Homosexual

A medical diagnosis

Used for decades to make queerness into a mental illness

Used as a slur for the latter half of the 20th century

Rejected by the queer community as an acceptable term for a brief period of time in the early 2000s before coming back into fashion.

Only describes the experience of cis gay men and cis lesbians

Think what you want, believe what you will, but every word we have ever used to describe ourselves is coated in blood.

Op ur so brave to assume people on this site can read well enough to get this

I actually talked to an older queer guy who said he was amazed to see how many young people call themselves gay. When he hears it, he just hears a slur…but he also said he was glad that people are able to reclaim it, and he’s happy to see a generation of lgbt+ people comfortable with it.

People on this site could learn from him
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meatfighter:

If you’re having a hard time putting effort into things like your relationships with people, your work ethic, your art etc. because your energy is constantly being drained. You are not alone and I completely understand. It is okay, take time to yourself to gather some energy, you will get there, keep going.
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andernell:

andernell:

My piece for the [profile] monoceroszine project! Was a pleasure to work along side some amazing artists and writers! 

Want to grab a print of this Skeleton friend?  🌸 *~ http://andernell.bigcartel.com ~*🌸
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jaegervega:

Thank you auntie ily!!!!

and OH BOY DO I LOVE THE WHOLE HUX MEETING LEIA THING!! I have been thinking about this for so long nowww and those photos of Domhnall Gleeson and Carrie Fisher made me so happy! (ofc I had to redraw one of them)
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mytrash-mylife:

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

mytrash-mylife:

why omg why?
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nokturniavulpesia:

transylvania6-5001:

🤣🤣🤣🧡🧡🧡
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lalage:

“She will remember your heart when men are fairy tales in books written by rabbits…”

- Peter S Beagle, The Last Unicorn
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chemtrailer:

chemtrailer:

artist-magritte:

Time transfixed via Rene Magritte

Size: 146x97 cm
Medium: oil, canvas

dumb ass accidentally painted a train instead of a fire

rene magritte has talent but this is a rookie mistake
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baddaddysolo:

…darkpilot …with a hint of gingerpilot and a disapproving uncle luke.
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normal-horoscopes:

rosetintmyworld84:

zachsanomaiy:

unpretty:

unpretty:

unpretty:

unpretty:

god i’m not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic

psychic: these are hieroglyphics… the spirits are trying to communicate…

home inspector: you put new paint over old paint and now the old paint is bleeding through, that’s why you’re not supposed to do that

homeowner: my daughter’s room is always cold… cold like the dead…

home inspector: you put furniture on top of her heating vent

business owner: i got locked in the bathroom even though the door has no lock

home inspector: it has a lock. the lock is right there. on the knob.

Fun fact a scientist who is very not spiritual or superstitious began seeing corner eye hallucinations and feeling intense fear and a presence in his lab around the same time that everyone else in the building was suddenly reporting it haunted.

Determined, he found that the “hauntings” stopped when the industrial air conditioning unit, that had just recently been installed, was turned off. We’ve found that measurable micro vibrations in a structure cause immense fear, and a feeling of a presence and corner eye hallucinations – just like when you watch a scary movie alone at night and you see things move in the corner of your eye or are afraid to go in the cellar because you’re convinced someone’s in there.

Why?

Because many members of our species built homes in and around cliffs and caves for tens of thousands of years. And it’s likely that these certain shaky vibrations give us intense fear and a need to move far away because that would have saved our lives if the cave were collapsing or unstable.

You’ll notice it’s always falling apart, dilapidated homes that are “haunted” - or very very old restored homes. These places might just be slightly structurally unsound. That’s all.

That’s infrasound, sounds that are below 20hz, or the limit of normal human hearing. Things that produce infrasound in nature include severe weather, earthquakes, volcanoes, tigers, alligators, rhinoceros; also known as things that can kill people. We developed an evolutionary sense of dread when our brains perceive sounds we cannot hear. The vibrations from infrasound can also vibrate the eye causing visual hallucinations. 

You know what also causes infrasound? A LOT of machines, especially large industrial ones. There’s a reason haunted house stories started popping up in post industrialization. That scientist was Vic Tandy and he wrote about it in a the paper Ghosts in the Machines

“Vic Tandy, experimental officer and part-time lecturer in the school of international studies and law at Coventry University, along with Dr. Tony Lawrence of the University’s psychology department, wrote in 1998 a paper called “Ghosts in the Machine” for the Journal of the Society for Psychical Research. Their research suggested that an infrasonic signal of 19 Hz might be responsible for some ghost sightings. Tandy was working late one night alone in a supposedly haunted laboratory at Warwick, when he felt very anxious and could detect a grey blob out of the corner of his eye. When Tandy turned to face the grey blob, there was nothing.The following day, Tandy was working on his fencing foil, with the handle held in a vice. Although there was nothing touching it, the blade started to vibrate wildly. Further investigation led Tandy to discover that the extractor fan in the lab was emitting a frequency of 18.98 Hz, very close to the resonant frequency of the eye given as 18 Hz by NASA. This, Tandy conjectured, was why he had seen a ghostly figure—it was, he believed, an optical illusion caused by his eyeballs resonating. The room was exactly half a wavelength in length, and the desk was in the centre, thus causing a standing wave which caused the vibration of the foil.“

BROKE: MISTAKEN HAUNTINGS ARE CAUSED BY INFRASOUND

WOKE: GHOSTS ARE MADE OF INFRASOUND
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sonofhighrock:

Resistance Heroes Force Friday Stand ups.
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cylin-aka-ankamo:

Hux in his dress uniform
Based on an rp with the lovely and incredibly, mulit-talented talented [profile] evilspacetrash

Check out Kylo in formal wear!
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cancerously:

msilverstar:

laylainalaska:

niibeth:

chlmera:

cancerously:

I feel like with the new ~fandom drama~ or whatever going around, I should re-introduce my favorite theory of fandom, which I call the 1% Theory.

Basically, the 1% Theory dictates that in every fandom, on average, 1% of the fans will be a pure, unsalvageable tire fire. We’re talking the people who do physical harm over their fandom, who start riots, cannot be talked down. The sort of things public news stories are made of. We’re not talking necessarily bad fans here- we’re talking people who take this thing so seriously they are willing to start a goddamn fist fight over nothing. The worst of the worst.

The reason I bring this up is because the 1% Theory ties into an important visual of fandom knowledge- that bigger fandoms are always perceived as “worse”, and at a certain point, a fandom always gets big enough to “go bad”. Let me explain.

Say you have a small fandom, like 500 people- the 1% Theory says that out of those 500, only 5 of them will be absolute nutjobs. This is incredibly manageable- it’s five people. The fandom and world at large can easily shut them out, block them, ignore their ramblings. The fandom is a “nice place”.

Now say you have a medium sized fandom- say 100,000 people. Suddenly, the 1% Theory ups your level of calamity to a whopping 1000 people. That’s a lot. That’s a lot for anyone to manage. It is, by nature of fandom, impossible to “manage” because no one owns fan spaces. People start to get nervous. There’s still so much good, but oof, 1000 people.

Now say you have a truly massive fandom- I use Homestuck here because I know the figures. At it’s peak, Homestuck had approximately FIVE MILLION active fans around the globe.

By the 1% Theory, that’s 50,000 people. Fifty THOUSAND starting riots, blackmailing creators, contributing to the worst of the worst of things.

There’s a couple of important points to take away here, in my opinion.

1) The 1% will always be the loudest, because people are always looking for new drama to follow.

2) Ultimately, it is 1%. It is only 1%. I can’t promise the other 99% are perfect, loving angels, but the “terrible fandom” is still only 1% complete utter garbage.

3) No fandom should ever be judged by their 1%. Big fandoms always look worse, small fandoms always look better. It’s not a good metric.

So remember, if you’re ever feeling disheartened by your fandom’s activity- it’s just 1%, people. Do your part not to be a part of it.

this is great!

It also complies with the “killer theory”. I don’t remember exact names, but people in online games are generally divided into four groups:

- explorers research game opportunities, they don’t mind playing alone, usually don’t hurt others, but sometimes they can exploit game weaknesses

- achievers play to win, to gain points, popularity. They need both explorers who know all perks, and socializers - as their followers and support

- socializers - they play because their friends are all here, they like to be together, they are usually most of the players, they can be easily led astray

- killers - for some reasons they come to hurt others, be it hurtful remarks in the chats or disturbing behavior

A tiny amount of killers is manageable and even profitable. (All four types are important). Killers raise stakes for the achievers, give socializers something to talk about in their groups and give explorers incentives to invent something new.

Angered explorers are the top predators here - but they must be seriously offended, and since they play on the outskirts of the game, killers rarely fight them. Killers usually go for the weakest (socializers) or most noticeable (achievers).

But if the game, by its design, somehow attracts to much killers, who scare socializers, leave achievers without their rewards and - by choking the environment - make it boring for the explorers (what I gonna explore here? ten kinds of dick-related-nicknames? Pff!) - they effectively kill the game.

This is awesome. In fandom terms, I think whether a fandom tends to be, in general, a pretty decent place to be with a small tire fire here or there, or one big flaming dumpster fire, probably has a lot to do with who the 1% in that fandom are. If you’re unlucky enough to be in a fandom where a couple of the tire-fire people are the ones who run the exchanges, or the most influential shippers of your particular small pairing, or the big BNF, you are screwed. Even though the vast majority of the fandom undoubtedly still consists of sane and decent people, it’s going to be really hard to avoid the 1%, and they’ll actively drive people out. 

On the other hand, some of my best times in fandom have been in calm, sane corners of fandoms that I knew had raging dumpster fires going elsewhere, but I never had to deal with them because my part of the fandom was quite nice.

Large fandoms are a mixed blessing that way … more and bigger tire fires (and more visible to outsiders), but also, with more people and more ships, it’s easier to find cozy little pockets of sanity in which to nest.

This is a great bit of meta! I liked it so much, I put it on fanlore: Fandoms Have 1% Toxic Fans Theory

oh man, this got so many notes that I missed this- thanks my dude!! I feel honored to have made it onto Fanlore, haha.
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squided:

thatsbelievable:

Well that convinced me I DEFINITELY should
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huxsmug:

This murderous Hux pic from TLJ in a better quality! You can see that his hair is not perfectly combed lol!
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fuckyeahgoodomens:

Put in a photoset for better quality :). Plus high quality parts of the second to last can be found here and even larger version of the last one here :).
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sewingfrommagic:

smallwanderer218:

Looks like it’s that time of year again

[personal profile] pangaeastarseed
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my-little-ninja:

r4cs0:

120000-ants:

dixie-chad:

mastergir:

this made me want to try this

Not a cellphone in sight, just people living in the moment.

Ye Olde Vibe Check

Jesus Christ what the fuck lol

and they say white people have no culture
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mizgnomer:

We are on opposite sides!

Crowley and Aziraphale: Crossing that divide
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otw-fanlore:

This Fannish History Friday we’re flashing back to 1991 and author Chelsea Quinn Yarbro’s infamous anti-fanfic crusade and article, “A Matter of Willful Copyright Infringement.”

The incident - one of many of the era in which a genre author objected to fanfic of their creations - began with a fan asking and being denied permission to write fanfic of one of Yarbro’s characters, escalated into threats of legal action, and ended not just with the confiscation of the offending fanzine, but with the fan writers and publishers paying over $1000 to run apology advertisements in Publisher’s Weekly.

Learn more about this tumultuous period in fandom history on Fanlore!



Not sure how to become an editor on Fanlore? Check out our wide variety of resources including tutorials or our new visitor portal. If you have any questions, you can also reach out to us directly by using the Ask feature on our Tumblr or email us. Happy editing!
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Happily Ever After - Gamebird - Star Wars Sequel Trilogy [Archive of Our Own]:

gamebird:

Chapters: 101/?
Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Armitage Hux
Characters: Poe Dameron, Armitage Hux, Kes Dameron
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Slow burn healing and recovery, Abuse survival, Cultural Differences, Hux and Poe are married, Living Together, What Snoke did to people is not so easily erased, trauma never is, Very soft kinks, Hux is still asexual, Poe is not, They Make It Work, Gingerpilot, Damerux, Hux/Poe - Freeform, Poe/Hux - Freeform, Force-Sensitive Hux, Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, but not very Force-sensitive for either of them
Series: Part 8 of Grey Order
Summary:

Next to last chapter, folks! I have the last one written and will publish next week, closing out the Grey Order saga!

This chapter, Hux receives well-deserved kind words for his birthday, surrounded by approving friends and loving family.
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bonniegrrl:

New The Expanse teaser trailer from Amazon Prime Video shows new worlds and problems

Season 4 brings new tensions between the opposing nations of Earth, Mars and the Belt. 

Read more in my CNET article here.
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ullathynell:

New painting 🦄 Prints are available!
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shitpostsampler:

georgiansuggestion:

aeon-shaping-lie:

georgiansuggestion:

stitch a pocket large enough for several books, a spindle, spare slippers, a loaf of bread, and your dignity

Good sir I only own four of those things

You may, if desired, replace Whatever you lack with More Bread.
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ellalba:

[profile] huxloween Day 5:  Fall Fashion

Ben has to take the bus to work at his uncle’s dojo every day. One day his uncle asks him to come in early in order to open up as a favour, when he meets the most gorgeous guy he has seen in a while waiting for the bus in a tan fall coat. Ever since then he offers to open for his uncle in order to see the ginger waiting for the bus, hoping to maybe, just maybe, build up the courage to ask him out.

(Little does he know Hux has a car and has been taking the bus every day just to see him as well)
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idiot-riker:

The moral of Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home was “we have to take care of all the world’s creatures and keep them from going extinct because what if one day a big mysterious alien tube turns up and the only thing which can convince it not to destroy the earth is an animal which went extinct years ago” which is like, a weird way to deliver a message about conservation but it sure is compelling. 
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gamebird:

I’m interested to see the full-body flinch Hux does about as much as I am the proprietary, dominance-establishing handling Kylo does to him. Do you really think Kylo would straighten Peavey’s collar? Or Pryde’s? I think not. But he does Hux’s.

Also, Hux did not flinch from Snoke, even though he was onscreen assaulted by him. What the holy hells has happened over the intervening months that has Hux cringing from Ren’s mere outstretched hand? And looking terrified to be touched by him?

Is that lieutenant in the screen reaching up defensively toward his throat? That looks like a gloved hand at the base of his neck and not the usual collar folds. They weren’t even having that threatening a conversation. You’re telling me (or rather, the artist is showing me) that any random convo with Ren might turn into choking. That’s possibly worse than what we saw with Snoke.

Dark. Very dark stuff. Like if Darth Vader had been in charge of the empire, constantly taking out his hot rage on anyone near him. The emperor was … well, a bit more chill.

benpositivity:

Love it!

mytrash-mylife:
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kaylapocalypse:

adulthoodisokay:

[x]

The wild euphoria of “Yes YES”😩👌
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bipirate:

i think one of the most interesting things is how, ever since the 19th century, the gothic has become almost synonymous with dark and eerie things, vampires and the like. artists and writers in the 19th century looked at those old and grimy buildings and were like, hell yeah, spooky shit. but it becomes even more interesting when you realise that those dark and grimy buildings weren’t dark or grimy at all when they were built; that darkness comes from years and years of smoke from candles and other grime building up. look at this picture from the restoration of the cathedral of chartres:

how fucking cool is this? so not only are those dark and creepy gothic stories from the 19th century just a fiction of the imagination of 19th century edge lords, but the actual medieval cathedrals were light and colourful. it makes you think about what age in history really deserves the term ‘the dark ages’, huh
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emmatheward:

emmatheward:

- Creature design classwork. 

- eeeeeeeee
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kittyknowsthings:

systlin:

skylagamingv2:

shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey:

feministism:

shocking!!!!! had no idea!!!

*pretends to be shocked*

*le pretend gasp*

This is my shocked face. 

had to dig for it, but to quote [personal profile] pigcatapult -

The importance of “water is wet” studies should not be understated. Because now you have a study to point to when someone who doesn’t already know this asks you for a source, as opposed to relying on anecdotal evidence or “common knowledge”.
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nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear:

badjokesbyjeff:

There was an old man who lived by a forest.

As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.

He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they’ll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair.”

“What I want you to do,” the man continued, “is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family’s duty to keep this forest strong.”

So they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

Jeff, change your URL
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shinygreenapple:

huxsmug:

New digital Hux/Kylo/Phasma Topps trading cards. From Topps Alliances of Evil Wave II set.

Hux & Kylo is the Award of the Wave.

From the SWCT app.

His fucking face in the first one with Phasma. I will never get over it. 
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redelicebeta:

Emperor Hux. [it matches his supreme leader (:]
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thewondersofspace:

anthropwashere:

lyinginbedmon:

ithelpstodream:

out of this world trolling lmao

For bonus context, the actual quote they’re citing for this protest comes from Edgar Mitchell (1930-2016), who flew in Apollo 14 and was the sixth person to walk on the Moon.

The full quotation, referring to the experience of observing Earth from the Moon surface, is thus:

You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch.’

#WE’VE DONE IT BOYS#WE’VE PUT SALT IN SPACE

I try to keep politics off this blog but this genuinely funny
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theatrefreak009:

babyslime:

little-wolf-white-peacock:

pettyrevenge-base:

Seriously. 4 years ago, I’m cashiering at a whacky mart on a register that holds all the smokes and alcohol. It’s 10pm and these two young men (early 20s) come up to the counter. They have three random novelty items (I don’t remember they were), but it was strange and unusual to get odd items this late at night. Maybe it was for some fraternity, I don’t know. It’s a college town so I get weird stuff from frats a lot. I scan the items and tell them their total is $22.xx.

Grinning at each other, they reach into their jackets and slam down two gallon zip-lock bags, full of only pennies. I stare them in the eye, but they didn’t even look back at me. Everyone else in line groan and went to other registers. These two kids knew what they were doing, but they didn’t know what they were in for because I prepared for this; I knew this was going to inevitably happen. I grinned with them, because I was gonna get paid during this. These pranksters are here for recreation. This convo occurs between Me, Ringleader (the other guy was silent and awkward), and a friendly coworker of mine.

Me: Is this $22.xx?

Ringleader: …

Me: Did you count it?

Ringleader: Nope.

Me: Are you going to?

Ringleader: Nope.

Me: Is it at least $22.xx?

Ringleader: Don’t know.

Me: Nice.

Coworker: Hey! You guys can use the self checkout. It can take all of your coins at once.

Me: Oh, don’t worry about it Cowor–

Ringleader: Nope, don’t trust them lady.  (Partner laughs)

Coworker: What? Why!?

Ringleader: Doesn’t count all your change right.

Coworker: I’ve used them before. It really works!

Me: (to Coworker) I got this.

I unpacked the ziplocks and threw all the pennies on the counter. It was a beautiful, massive shitstorm of a mess. And I digged in it. I was Frank in a dumpster in ‘It’s Always Sunny’. The two, still averting my gaze, start chuckling as if they were taking away my dignity. They whisper to each other “Dude oh my God,” “Dude yeah,” “Dude, hilarious.” I counted each penny, one by one. My coworker comes up to me.

Coworker: Guess I’ll help you count this.

Me: Don’t worry about it.

(She looks at me confused. Then she puts on her ‘get down to busy’ look.)

Coworker: I got your back.

Me: Oh…ok.

We worked up a system where we counted ten, put them in a pile, then with ten stacks of ten pennies we separated them, making $1 piles. We made progress slowly but surely. Some customers came to the line, but we advised them to get to another line. Some of them looked at us confused, but when they saw the counter full of pennies they understood. Some decided to wait, but when they realized it wasn’t going to take just a few minutes they took their leave. Another register in the liquor department opened so it wasn’t too bad for other customers. We get to about $12 (about 10min in) until I “knocked” over the piles.

Coworker: Neontonsil!

Me: Oops. Sorry.

(Coworker looks at my grin. I give her a wink and tilt my head, motioning her to leave)

Coworker: You know what, I think I better let you do this.

Me: Ha, alright.

(Coworker leaves. I look at the two guys. They are absolutely stunned at the fallen piles of pennies.)

Me: (To Ringleader) Yeah, I’m going to have to count all of this again.

Ringleader: ….Ok.

I started from zero. I count slower then ever, and made my way back up. The duo is entirely silent. I get to about $7, when suddenly I say:

Me: Drats. I lost count. I better start all over again.

Ringleader: Really?

Me: Oh yeah man.

Ringleader: Why!?

Me: I lost count, sir. I could be in trouble if my register doesn’t have the right amount of cash, and I don’t want to rip you off.

Ringleader: …

It’s about an hour later. My manager walks past, looks at me. I smile at him, and he looks at the counter. He walks away without a word. I eventually count all the change and surprisingly they had only $18!

Me: Hmm, I think that this is $18.

(The duo has been dead silent. They look done for the night.)

Me: I’ll recount it.

I fucking recounted it.

Me: I think this is actually $19.xx.

(Without a word, the Ringleader whips out a $5)

Me: Seriously? You had cash?

Ringleader: Needed to get rid of my change.

Me. No problem. I’ll just recount this again. I want to make perfectly sure that this is $19, since I counted $18 the first time.

Ringleader: Are you kidding me?

(I shake my head no, completely serious)

He takes out a $20 bill straight out of his pocket and throws it at me. My coworker gives the biggest WHAT THE FUCK face. Internally, I die as well, because they were smart enough to have a backup plan. And the fact that he was touching his cash in his pocket the entire time kinda messed with me. I take the cash, do the transaction, give him his change, thanked him and wished him a good night. The two start to put their pennies back in the ziplock bags and I didn’t help them at all. I watched them just as how they watched me. Lots of pennies dropped to the floor, but they didn’t care to pick them up. It looked like their souls were sucked out of them. It was past midnight and I clocked out way past when I was supposed to. A lot of my coworkers gave me a thumbs up or told me good night. Even my manager told me ‘good job,’ the only two words he ever said to me. Went to bed at the dorms after such a great petty penny night and crashed. Strange to say, but I’d love to count pennies again.

TL;DR I recounted 1900 pennies like 5 times. Was it 5 times? I better count again.

This is the kind of spite I live for

The term for this, if you didn’t already know it, is “malicious compliance”. 

I aspire to be this level of petty one day

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March 2021

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