![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
potboyvia https://ift.tt/36O6Q3o
lynati:
If a person had stated a preference for female or male pronouns, then referring to them as NOT FEMALE or NOT MALE by deliberately using a pronoun that’s gender-neutral is pretty damn rude.
THAT WOMAN IS NOT GENDER-NEUTRAL, SHE’S A WOMAN. SHE JUST TOLD YOU SO.
THAT MAN IS NOT GENDER-NEUTRAL, HE’S A MAN. HE JUST TOLD YOU SO.
WHEN A PERSON HAS TOLD YOU THEIR GENDER, REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT GENDER BY INSISTING ON USING GENDER-NEUTRAL LANGUAGE FOR THAT PERSON IS FUCKING RUDE.
That person you DON’T KNOW the gender of yet? That’s a person you want to use gender-neutral pronouns for, up until you know which one is appropriate. That non-binary person who has said they don’t view themselves as a woman, or a man? That’s the person you want to use non-gendered pronouns with, but you should ask if they/them is their preference, or if they have another.
gaymenaredivineincarnate:
Also for a lot of us, they/them isn’t gender neutral. There are lesbians who use he/him as gender neutral terms. And there are gay men who use she/her as gender neutral terms.
fleetnaturals:
also, not to be pedantic but as a cis gay guy i don’t want to be referred to as they/them because 1) i have my own way of expressing gender nonconformity that is compatible with using he/him pronouns and 2) i don’t want to take space and energy away from non binary people who use they/them pronouns as their main mode of identity
like if someone is using they/them as a gender neutral way of referring to me because they don’t know me that well that’s fine i guess, but i’ve had other queer people use they/them pronouns with me because they didn’t think he/him pronouns suited me in the way that i express my gender which is homophobia and just feels Gross™
teenelf:
“you can’t get mad at me!!!! i’m not saying you’re the other gender!!!!” come on now
marcjacobspartydresscode:
purpuseful ambuguity and privacy
if an individual is closeted
but my point is that they and them doesn’t refer to a specific gender so their use can’t be “misgendering” like there’s a complete lack of specified gender
teenelf:
why would you be gender neutral whn you know that person’s gender and their pronoun preferences
marcjacobspartydresscode:
but they and them are gender neutral words
teenelf:
if a trans woman uses she/her and has told you that, using they/them pronouns for her is deliberate misgendering
marcjacobspartydresscode:
how?
sheepsbian:
as much as i appreciate the increased usage of they/them pronouns as a non binary person that uses those pronouns, y'all need to also understand that using they/them on someone who does not use they/them is still misgendering
lynati:
If a person had stated a preference for female or male pronouns, then referring to them as NOT FEMALE or NOT MALE by deliberately using a pronoun that’s gender-neutral is pretty damn rude.
THAT WOMAN IS NOT GENDER-NEUTRAL, SHE’S A WOMAN. SHE JUST TOLD YOU SO.
THAT MAN IS NOT GENDER-NEUTRAL, HE’S A MAN. HE JUST TOLD YOU SO.
WHEN A PERSON HAS TOLD YOU THEIR GENDER, REFUSING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT GENDER BY INSISTING ON USING GENDER-NEUTRAL LANGUAGE FOR THAT PERSON IS FUCKING RUDE.
That person you DON’T KNOW the gender of yet? That’s a person you want to use gender-neutral pronouns for, up until you know which one is appropriate. That non-binary person who has said they don’t view themselves as a woman, or a man? That’s the person you want to use non-gendered pronouns with, but you should ask if they/them is their preference, or if they have another.
gaymenaredivineincarnate:
Also for a lot of us, they/them isn’t gender neutral. There are lesbians who use he/him as gender neutral terms. And there are gay men who use she/her as gender neutral terms.
fleetnaturals:
also, not to be pedantic but as a cis gay guy i don’t want to be referred to as they/them because 1) i have my own way of expressing gender nonconformity that is compatible with using he/him pronouns and 2) i don’t want to take space and energy away from non binary people who use they/them pronouns as their main mode of identity
like if someone is using they/them as a gender neutral way of referring to me because they don’t know me that well that’s fine i guess, but i’ve had other queer people use they/them pronouns with me because they didn’t think he/him pronouns suited me in the way that i express my gender which is homophobia and just feels Gross™
teenelf:
“you can’t get mad at me!!!! i’m not saying you’re the other gender!!!!” come on now
marcjacobspartydresscode:
purpuseful ambuguity and privacy
if an individual is closeted
but my point is that they and them doesn’t refer to a specific gender so their use can’t be “misgendering” like there’s a complete lack of specified gender
teenelf:
why would you be gender neutral whn you know that person’s gender and their pronoun preferences
marcjacobspartydresscode:
but they and them are gender neutral words
teenelf:
if a trans woman uses she/her and has told you that, using they/them pronouns for her is deliberate misgendering
marcjacobspartydresscode:
how?
sheepsbian:
as much as i appreciate the increased usage of they/them pronouns as a non binary person that uses those pronouns, y'all need to also understand that using they/them on someone who does not use they/them is still misgendering