Every Argument About Star Wars Since 2015
Mar. 6th, 2020 07:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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apriki:
We Need to Talk About Kylo
Kylo Ren never did a thing wrong in his life
Kylo Ren is a poster boy for the alt-right
Kylo’s narrative is about abuse
Kylo’s narrative is about how society offers constant concessions for straight white men
Kylo Ren is going to be redeemed
I will murder my own cat if Kylo Ren gets redeemed
His name is Ben Solo and you will use it
Why are you calling him Ben Solo like it’s a pet name
Adam Driver is beautiful
Adam Driver is like one of the gargoyles from the Hunchback of Notre Dame
Han and Leia were bad parents
Han and Leia were amazing parents. Did you ever consider that Ben Solo had bad vibes? Or was simply unpleasant to be around?
Kylo overreacted to his uncle trying to murder him
Kylo’s choices were his own and he joined the space fascists so fuck you
I hate the mask
Kylo Ren is Aldi brand Darth Vader
Kylo Ren was made for fanboys
Kylo Ren was made for fangirls
The crossguard lightsaber is stupid
Kylo Ren is the villain and you can’t like the villain
Have you watched Star Wars?
Kylo killed Han Solo so he can’t be redeemed
Well Vader killed Obi Wan and he was redeemed
Yeah but I was emotionally attached to Han Solo so fuck you
Adam Driver is 6′3′
Ship Wars
Poe and Finn belong together
Finn and Rose belong together
Finn and the new girl belong together
Finn and Rey belong together
Rey is a lesbian
Poe is gay
Rose hitting Finn over the head was abuse
Kylo and Hux are in love
Keri Russell’s character was shoehorned in to stop Poe and Finn’s love story
Trio, Trio, Trio
Rey/Finn/Kylo is the true sequel trio
Rey/Finn/Poe is the true sequel trio
Poe was meant to be killed off
Kylo/Hux/Phasma is the true sequel trio
Just… Reylo
Reylo is abusive
Reylo can’t be abusive because they’re not in an established relationship
Kylo violated Rey’s mind in the interrogation scene
Rey violated Kylo’s mind right back
Lucasfilm isn’t brave enough to do Reylo
Lucasfilm isn’t stupid enough to do Reylo
Reylo are brother and sister
Reylo are cousins
Reylo is twilight fanfiction
Reylo is phantom of the opera fanfiction
Rian Johnson has a Reylo Agenda
Women who like Reylo are endorsing violent toxic relationships
Women who like Reylo were right all along
Reylo is the best Star Wars love story
I’ll end a friendship over Reylo
DNRey
Rey is a Skywalker
Rey is a Solo
Rey is a Kenobi
Rey is nobody
Rey is a Knight of Ren
Sheev Palps fucks
Rey’s father is Darth Maul
Rey’s father is Jar Jar Binks
Rey’s mother is Keri Russell
Rey’s mother is the lady from Rogue One
Rey’s mother is Daenerys Targaryen from Solo
Any brunette white woman in Star Wars is Rey’s mother
There are only brunette white women in Star Wars
Rey is a miracle messiah baby like Anakin
Don’t be stupid, girls can’t have magic powers out of nowhere
But think of the Children!
Rey is positive representation for young girls
Why does she just have to be representation for girls
Reylo is bad representation for young girls
Everything in Star Wars has to have a moral core because it is made for children
Rey is a Mary Sue
If Luke can magically destroy the death star in a one in a million shot with little to no training, Rey can use a fucking lightsaber
The Jar Jar Saga
Don’t talk about the fucking prequels
Anakin murdered a bunch of kids but he’s still better than Kylo Ren
Anakin force choked his wife you ghoul
The Franchise Awakens
The Force Awakens was good fun
The Force Awakens was nostalgia pandering bullshit
The Last Brain Cell
The Last Jedi is the greatest blockbuster in the last twenty years
The Last Jedi was SJW pandering bullshit
The Canto Bight storyline was an important anticapitalist plot that showed how no one can be neutral in war
The Canto Bight storyline was a waste of time
Space Monaco pretty
You can’t have an anticapitalist storyline in a Disney film
The kid with the broom is the future of Star Wars
I don’t get the purpose of the kid with the broom
Is the kid with the broom a Skywalker now?
ForceSkype is stupid
ForceSkype is abusive. Kylo didn’t ask if he could force connect to Rey’s mind
Poe was right
Admiral Holdo was right
Leia can’t fucking fly in space
You can’t say that Leia cannot theoretically fly in space
Old Man Luke is Not My Luke
Old Man Luke is a logical progression of Original Luke and you’re just angry about it because you’re getting old too
Rose is the best new addition to Star Wars
Rose is the worst new addition to Star Wars
Why did they change Rey’s space buns?
Are you seriously complaining about Rey’s space buns
I hate the porgs
The Rise of Skywalker
D̸͓͕͔̠̿̈̿̕͝Ö̵̟̰͖́Ṉ̴̾'̷̣͙̇̍̍̚T̸̬͑̓ ̸͙̤̳͕̆̄̎͘T̴̨̖̥̚͝͝ͅA̵̛̲̩͘ͅL̵̨̲̫̲̚K̷̛͚͔̐̌̕ ̸̣͚̈́̐T̸̫̠͕̞̝͗̓̿͝O̸͈̱̮̦̹̍͘ ̵͉̣̤͆͛́Ḿ̶̢̡̡͓͈̅̅́̉Ë̶͎͇̱̌̓̑̆ ̷̹̙̾Ă̶̠B̷̡̫̩͋̋Ȍ̴̦̦̪͈̓̋Ȕ̶̬̤͎̹̎̅T̸̢͖͉̬̬͗̄̑̈́͝ ̸̨͓̜̝͒ͅR̵̡̯̖̲͍̾͗͛͆Į̴͇̺͍̰̓Ş̶̢͓̦̂̉̎É̴̪͙͉̩͒̈̄͐ͅ ̷͈̹͐̏͊̕͘O̷̡͕̜͕̒̚͠ͅF̸̡͇̣͇̖̔̿͗ ̴͚͚͓̗̍ͅŠ̶͍͚̬͈̾̚̕͝Ḳ̴̐͛Y̵̛̠͉̼̻̿͂̈́̈W̴͕̄͘A̴͈̹͉̞͉͐L̶̲̓̒́̅͝K̷͈̒Ḙ̸̛̪̎̓̀̊R̶̯̆̍̈́
Droids?
Why did C-3PO have a red arm
I can’t believe they shelved R2D2 for BB-8 so they could sell toys
Do droids have rights?
Droids are sentient and represent a slave class in the Star Wars universe
Droids have free will and are choosing to help humans
How does everyone understand droid beeps?
How Does Everyone Speak Wookie?
Is Wookie the lingua franca of the galaxy
Like Boats Beating Back Into the Past
Force Awakens was too nostalgic
The Last Jedi wasn’t nostalgic at all and it ruined what I loved about Star Wars when I was a bébé
The Rise of Skywalker was too nostalgic
Star Wars shouldn’t be nostalgic
Star Wars needs to be nostalgic but not too much but just enough
The sequels are about the original trio
The sequels shouldn’t be about the original trio
Cassian Andor should Call Me
Rogue One was amazing
Rogue One was terrible
Rogue One is the only good Star Wars movie
That Vader scene was dope
Yeah, the Vader scene was pretty dope
Why is there only one woman in Rogue One
Why do Star Wars movies always look radically different from their trailers?
Is That Ansel Elgort?
Fuck Solo
Darth Maul, though
The Mandalorian
The Mandalorian will save Star Wars
i hate Disney+
But… Baby Yoda… Capitalism won again
I don’t think it’s always Pedro Pascal under the mask
I’ve devised a system of body language interpretation to figure out when it is Pedro Pascal under the mask
Baby Yoda is a balm for my soul
If the Mandalorian is a Western, Baby Yoda is a native child that has been stolen
Don’t call it Baby Yoda. We do not know its species and Yoda died decades ago
Baby Yoda
Everyone Ruined Star Wars
Rian Johnson ruined Star Wars
JJ Abrams ruined Star Wars
Chris Terrio ruined Star Wars
Kathleen Kennedy ruined Star Wars
The Disney machine ruined Star Wars
George Lucas ruined Star Wars
Star Wars ruined the internet
Star Wars ruined pop culture
Maybe Star Wars was always bad?
apriki:
We Need to Talk About Kylo
Kylo Ren never did a thing wrong in his life
Kylo Ren is a poster boy for the alt-right
Kylo’s narrative is about abuse
Kylo’s narrative is about how society offers constant concessions for straight white men
Kylo Ren is going to be redeemed
I will murder my own cat if Kylo Ren gets redeemed
His name is Ben Solo and you will use it
Why are you calling him Ben Solo like it’s a pet name
Adam Driver is beautiful
Adam Driver is like one of the gargoyles from the Hunchback of Notre Dame
Han and Leia were bad parents
Han and Leia were amazing parents. Did you ever consider that Ben Solo had bad vibes? Or was simply unpleasant to be around?
Kylo overreacted to his uncle trying to murder him
Kylo’s choices were his own and he joined the space fascists so fuck you
I hate the mask
Kylo Ren is Aldi brand Darth Vader
Kylo Ren was made for fanboys
Kylo Ren was made for fangirls
The crossguard lightsaber is stupid
Kylo Ren is the villain and you can’t like the villain
Have you watched Star Wars?
Kylo killed Han Solo so he can’t be redeemed
Well Vader killed Obi Wan and he was redeemed
Yeah but I was emotionally attached to Han Solo so fuck you
Adam Driver is 6′3′
Ship Wars
Poe and Finn belong together
Finn and Rose belong together
Finn and the new girl belong together
Finn and Rey belong together
Rey is a lesbian
Poe is gay
Rose hitting Finn over the head was abuse
Kylo and Hux are in love
Keri Russell’s character was shoehorned in to stop Poe and Finn’s love story
Trio, Trio, Trio
Rey/Finn/Kylo is the true sequel trio
Rey/Finn/Poe is the true sequel trio
Poe was meant to be killed off
Kylo/Hux/Phasma is the true sequel trio
Just… Reylo
Reylo is abusive
Reylo can’t be abusive because they’re not in an established relationship
Kylo violated Rey’s mind in the interrogation scene
Rey violated Kylo’s mind right back
Lucasfilm isn’t brave enough to do Reylo
Lucasfilm isn’t stupid enough to do Reylo
Reylo are brother and sister
Reylo are cousins
Reylo is twilight fanfiction
Reylo is phantom of the opera fanfiction
Rian Johnson has a Reylo Agenda
Women who like Reylo are endorsing violent toxic relationships
Women who like Reylo were right all along
Reylo is the best Star Wars love story
I’ll end a friendship over Reylo
DNRey
Rey is a Skywalker
Rey is a Solo
Rey is a Kenobi
Rey is nobody
Rey is a Knight of Ren
Sheev Palps fucks
Rey’s father is Darth Maul
Rey’s father is Jar Jar Binks
Rey’s mother is Keri Russell
Rey’s mother is the lady from Rogue One
Rey’s mother is Daenerys Targaryen from Solo
Any brunette white woman in Star Wars is Rey’s mother
There are only brunette white women in Star Wars
Rey is a miracle messiah baby like Anakin
Don’t be stupid, girls can’t have magic powers out of nowhere
But think of the Children!
Rey is positive representation for young girls
Why does she just have to be representation for girls
Reylo is bad representation for young girls
Everything in Star Wars has to have a moral core because it is made for children
Rey is a Mary Sue
If Luke can magically destroy the death star in a one in a million shot with little to no training, Rey can use a fucking lightsaber
The Jar Jar Saga
Don’t talk about the fucking prequels
Anakin murdered a bunch of kids but he’s still better than Kylo Ren
Anakin force choked his wife you ghoul
The Franchise Awakens
The Force Awakens was good fun
The Force Awakens was nostalgia pandering bullshit
The Last Brain Cell
The Last Jedi is the greatest blockbuster in the last twenty years
The Last Jedi was SJW pandering bullshit
The Canto Bight storyline was an important anticapitalist plot that showed how no one can be neutral in war
The Canto Bight storyline was a waste of time
Space Monaco pretty
You can’t have an anticapitalist storyline in a Disney film
The kid with the broom is the future of Star Wars
I don’t get the purpose of the kid with the broom
Is the kid with the broom a Skywalker now?
ForceSkype is stupid
ForceSkype is abusive. Kylo didn’t ask if he could force connect to Rey’s mind
Poe was right
Admiral Holdo was right
Leia can’t fucking fly in space
You can’t say that Leia cannot theoretically fly in space
Old Man Luke is Not My Luke
Old Man Luke is a logical progression of Original Luke and you’re just angry about it because you’re getting old too
Rose is the best new addition to Star Wars
Rose is the worst new addition to Star Wars
Why did they change Rey’s space buns?
Are you seriously complaining about Rey’s space buns
I hate the porgs
The Rise of Skywalker
D̸͓͕͔̠̿̈̿̕͝Ö̵̟̰͖́Ṉ̴̾'̷̣͙̇̍̍̚T̸̬͑̓ ̸͙̤̳͕̆̄̎͘T̴̨̖̥̚͝͝ͅA̵̛̲̩͘ͅL̵̨̲̫̲̚K̷̛͚͔̐̌̕ ̸̣͚̈́̐T̸̫̠͕̞̝͗̓̿͝O̸͈̱̮̦̹̍͘ ̵͉̣̤͆͛́Ḿ̶̢̡̡͓͈̅̅́̉Ë̶͎͇̱̌̓̑̆ ̷̹̙̾Ă̶̠B̷̡̫̩͋̋Ȍ̴̦̦̪͈̓̋Ȕ̶̬̤͎̹̎̅T̸̢͖͉̬̬͗̄̑̈́͝ ̸̨͓̜̝͒ͅR̵̡̯̖̲͍̾͗͛͆Į̴͇̺͍̰̓Ş̶̢͓̦̂̉̎É̴̪͙͉̩͒̈̄͐ͅ ̷͈̹͐̏͊̕͘O̷̡͕̜͕̒̚͠ͅF̸̡͇̣͇̖̔̿͗ ̴͚͚͓̗̍ͅŠ̶͍͚̬͈̾̚̕͝Ḳ̴̐͛Y̵̛̠͉̼̻̿͂̈́̈W̴͕̄͘A̴͈̹͉̞͉͐L̶̲̓̒́̅͝K̷͈̒Ḙ̸̛̪̎̓̀̊R̶̯̆̍̈́
Droids?
Why did C-3PO have a red arm
I can’t believe they shelved R2D2 for BB-8 so they could sell toys
Do droids have rights?
Droids are sentient and represent a slave class in the Star Wars universe
Droids have free will and are choosing to help humans
How does everyone understand droid beeps?
How Does Everyone Speak Wookie?
Is Wookie the lingua franca of the galaxy
Like Boats Beating Back Into the Past
Force Awakens was too nostalgic
The Last Jedi wasn’t nostalgic at all and it ruined what I loved about Star Wars when I was a bébé
The Rise of Skywalker was too nostalgic
Star Wars shouldn’t be nostalgic
Star Wars needs to be nostalgic but not too much but just enough
The sequels are about the original trio
The sequels shouldn’t be about the original trio
Cassian Andor should Call Me
Rogue One was amazing
Rogue One was terrible
Rogue One is the only good Star Wars movie
That Vader scene was dope
Yeah, the Vader scene was pretty dope
Why is there only one woman in Rogue One
Why do Star Wars movies always look radically different from their trailers?
Is That Ansel Elgort?
Fuck Solo
Darth Maul, though
The Mandalorian
The Mandalorian will save Star Wars
i hate Disney+
But… Baby Yoda… Capitalism won again
I don’t think it’s always Pedro Pascal under the mask
I’ve devised a system of body language interpretation to figure out when it is Pedro Pascal under the mask
Baby Yoda is a balm for my soul
If the Mandalorian is a Western, Baby Yoda is a native child that has been stolen
Don’t call it Baby Yoda. We do not know its species and Yoda died decades ago
Baby Yoda
Everyone Ruined Star Wars
Rian Johnson ruined Star Wars
JJ Abrams ruined Star Wars
Chris Terrio ruined Star Wars
Kathleen Kennedy ruined Star Wars
The Disney machine ruined Star Wars
George Lucas ruined Star Wars
Star Wars ruined the internet
Star Wars ruined pop culture
Maybe Star Wars was always bad?